Joined: Jul 2003 Gender: Female Posts: 290 Location: The State of Insanity Karma: 42
The Eighth Episode -- Never Before Posted « Thread Started on Feb 13, 2006, 2:15am »
*Disclaimer* All anime characters further mentioned in this story are the property of their respective creators. Because character bashing, mild foul language and the occasional disaster are likely, this series is not recommended for small children or people with weak stomachs. That said, let's get on with our show.
------Introduction------
Rachel: Sorry for the delay in getting a new episode on the air, but after the events of our last episode we had a huge lawsuit over the damages and were kind of short on cash for a new episode. Not only that, but we couldn't contact the Outlaw Star so we couldn't find any guests for a while either. We did find out that the annoying announcer guy who is always rushing the show is actually some sicko named Larry and that he isn't actually to be feared. Now I know you're thinking, how can there be a show with no guests, but fear not loyal viewers, for we did find a new set of guests.
Duo: Rachel, would you hurry it up with the intro, if it takes too long we'll get thrown off the air before the show has even started.
Rachel: *snarls* Shut up Duo!
Duo: *gulps*
Rachel: Also during the time it has taken to get the money and the characters for a new show, Tomoyo decided it was time to make a movie involving the Sakura Cards, and so Syaoran is unable to be here as a co-host. I cleverly left Zapmon with Slashmon at the Digimon Hotsprings and made some arrangements with Gennai to seal of the digital world for a few hours, giving us plenty of time to do the show without digimon interruptions. Quatre is still in rehabilitation because of the Wing Zero incident. Heero and Wufei have maintained their jobs as our security workers. And as to Duo's earlier comment, I have dealt with Larry, or rather... Shiva ate him. Now, on with today's show!
The Network Season III Episode 2: Ranma 1/2 Special Edition
Ranma, Akane, Shampoo, Mousse and Ukyo come on stage. On the stage as usual are two large comfy chairs and one extremely large, comfy couch. The snack table is located on the side of the stage, in case Shiva decides to make an appearance. Everyone takes a seat on the couch, with the exception of the two co-hosts, Rachel and Duo who take their places in the chairs.
Ranma: You know when I heard that one of the hosts of this show was named Rachel I thought it was a girl, but these both look like guys to me.
Rachel: *growls*
Duo: You know what, I hadn't thought about it, but Rachel really does look like a boy.
*SPLAT*
Duo is now unconscious with a phonebook on top of his head, lying on the stage. Heero and Wufei come out, dragging him away.
Ranma: *winces* Did you need to hit him that hard?
Rachel: I didn't hit him, the phonebook did.
Ukyo: Where did the phonebook come from?
Shampoo: Yes, phonebook not there minute ago.
Rachel: Uh...um...I dunno, uh...let's get on with the show.
Akane: Fine. Exactly why did we agree to be on this show anyway?!
Ranma: I hear it pays well...
Rachel: Wasn't Ryoga supposed to come here with you?
------Somewhere in Rome------
Ryoga: Now where is that television studio?
------Back on Stage------
Mousse: What kind of TV show is this?
Rachel: Uh well I guess on would call this a talk show.
Akane: You certainly do a lot of the talking...
Rachel: Hey the intro was long cause it's been a while since we've had a real episode!
Ranma: I don't think I'm going to like where this is headed.
Shampoo: This not professional television program.
Rachel: (thinking) Note to self, don't invite so many martial artists onto the show at the same time!
Ukyo: Last I checked, 16-year-olds didn't run their own TV shows.
Rachel: Well I wouldn't have to except that my co-hosts tend to disappear...or as with Duo I usually know him out cold...whoops!
Mousse: So you did knock him out?
Rachel: *nods*
Ranma: What kind of attack involves phonebooks?
Rachel: It isn't an attack, more of a conditioned response to annoyances.
Shampoo: Like being called boy?
Rachel: *nods again*
Akane: Some talk show, exactly what is the purpose of this?
Rachel: Hey I'm supposed to be the one asking the questions!
Ranma: You really do look like a boy.
*CRACK*
Ranma is now on the floor with a phonebook planted firmly on his head. At this time Duo is conscious again and walks back on stage.
Duo: Geez, you are insulted when called a boy, but you admit to being a tomboy.
Rachel: There is a big difference!
Ranma: *lifts the phonebook off his head and discovers there is no phonebook present* What the?!
Duo: The only reason I stick around is cause the pay is good and the food is all-you-can-eat, otherwise I'd take my chances elsewhere.
------Somewhere in New York------
Ryoga: Where am I now? *sighs* I doubt this is California.
------Back on Stage------
Mousse: How did she do that?
Ranma: That's what I'm trying to figure out! *is back on the couch by this time*
Rachel: Uh...maybe this is a good time for the interview portion of the show.
Duo: Where to begin... *gets that scary look in his eyes that generally means trouble*
Ukyo: Maybe we should interview you, seeing as everyone appears curious as to how you do that phonebook trick.
Rachel: That's a trade secret.
Duo: How do you keep true love a secret?
*DOUBLE CRACK*
Duo is doubled-over on the floor, unconscious for the second time in today's episode.
Rachel: I can only guess who did that...
At this point in time Ryoga actually wanders into the station.
Ryoga: Sorry I'm late, I had trouble getting here.
Ranma: Meaning, you were lost again.
Ryoga: *growls*
Rachel: Perfect, now the show can really get under way.
Shampoo: What girl talking about?
Akane: You planned this?
Rachel: Clever ain't I?
Ukyo: Clever isn't the word I had in mind. More like insane.
Rachel: Thank you.
Mousse: This girl is nuts.
Shampoo: That is understatement.
As stated, Rachel's insanity has caused a dust-cloud fight between Ranma and Ryoga. Not only that, but a few people are planning to rid this show of its creator, and they really don't look happy! The remaining characters on stage, with the exception of a totally in-shock Duo, create a second dust-cloud fight, this one surrounding Rachel, all trying to pound her senseless. In a matter of a minute everyone, except for Rachel and Duo is rendered unconscious as a barrage of phonebooks falls from the ceiling nailing each on the head.
Several minutes pass, during which time everyone is put back on the couch, with the addition of Ryoga. Rachel and Duo take their chairs as a wave of cold water comes down upon the unconscious Ranma 1/2 characters, awakening them and transforming those with curses.
Ranma: What was that for?!
Akane: P-chan, how did you get here? *picks up the transformed Ryoga with little concern about the fact that the eternally lost boy is missing*
Ranma: *now realizes that Shampoo has turned into her cat form* AHHH!!! *and begins running around the stage frantically*
Ukyo: I don't remember there being water anywhere around here, so how did everyone end up changing?
Mousse: *is just an angry little duck*
Shampoo: *is chasing the terrified Ranma*
Rachel: And this concludes today's episode of The Network. Tune in next time, if there is a next time. The end for now, before I get hurt, or worse, killed!
Joined: Jul 2003 Gender: Female Posts: 290 Location: The State of Insanity Karma: 42
Re: The Eighth Episode -- Never Before Posted « Reply #1 on Feb 13, 2006, 2:24am »
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist and its characters are the property of Hiromu Arakawa, Square Enix, BONES, and Aniplex.
The Network Fullmetal Alchemist Insert
The camera switches on after the months that haved pass since the last episode.
Crystal: This is a much older, obviously less structured episode of The Network that was never effectively posted on the Internet along with any episodes that might have come before it. Most of those episodes were never written anyway. I should apologize for posting this as it is a frightening glimpse into the mind of a horribly disturbed teenage mind.
Envy: It was -your- horribly disturbed teenage mind.
Crystal: Actually, when it was first presented to the Anime Club at my high school, Shiva read it aloud and inserted himself into the script.
Envy: Fortunately for O-Chibi-san you lost your violent edge before you met him.
Crystal: I just can't believe my writing was really that terrible back then. It's scary.
Edward: It isn't really -that- bad.
Cat: I don't think she was looking for an ego boost with that statement.
Crystal: It's okay. What's done is done. I just hope I don't end up regretting it later.
Envy: Oh, don't worry, you will.
Edward: You're not helping either.
The camera shuts off and the screen goes dark. Thankfully, it remains dark.
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